Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
A Note on Parenting
I've seen this image circulating in the blogosphere lately and decided to repost for myself - it's quite true!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
My Top 10 Diaper Bag Must-Haves
I recently got an email update from What to Expect (much like I do everyday) with an article link to "Diaper Bag Must-Haves". I agreed with all their suggestions, but had a few of my own to add.
1. Diapers
This is a no-brainer as it IS called a "diaper bag." I usually try to keep at least 4 or 5 in there so I don't have to constantly be refilling it as the only time he goes through more than 1 at a time is when he's over at my mom's while I'm working or out.
2. Wipes
I always keep a package of wipeys in the diaper bag
3. Diaper rash ointment
I prefer Desitin and always keep a tube in there
4. Sunblock (in the warmer months)
You never know when you might go outside for an extended period of time & you don't want baby to get burned so it's a good idea to keep some of this in the diaper bag. We use Huggies Little Swimmers waterproof spf50 sunblock.
5. A spare bottle
Cuz kiddo might randomly decide to get hungry at the most inopportune times!
6. Some baby food
At Target and Babies R Us you can find small formula containers like the one in the picture by Munchkin where you measure out the formula powder beforehand and then just pour it into the bottle when you need it. I LOVE this product and am soooo glad to have it - it really comes in handy and I don't have to carry an entire tub of formula with me! This particular one has 3 separate spots.
7. Your kid's "lovey"
Jay's is his stuffed Elmo so I make sure to always put him the diaper bag before we go out.
8. Bib/Burpie
Jay drools A LOT right now so for us it's mandatory to have an extra bib in the bag and of course a burpie cloth is needed in case he eats while we're out and about.
9. A blanket
More for the colder months, as you never know how the weather will be - one minute it's in the 70s and your kid is in shorts, the next it's in the 50s and you need something to throw over his legs! Plus, if you're driving in the colder months and something happens where your car breaks down, doesn't hurt to have a blanket on hand, especially for kiddo!
10. A spare set of clothes
In case your child has a blowout in his diaper that goes up his back or some other massive mess that requires a change of clothes while you're out.
Honorable Mention: A bottle of water
More so in case you get stranded somewhere like if your car breaks down - if kiddo gets hungry you can mix a bottle for them (assuming you have #'s 5&6).
1. Diapers
This is a no-brainer as it IS called a "diaper bag." I usually try to keep at least 4 or 5 in there so I don't have to constantly be refilling it as the only time he goes through more than 1 at a time is when he's over at my mom's while I'm working or out.
2. Wipes
I always keep a package of wipeys in the diaper bag
3. Diaper rash ointment
I prefer Desitin and always keep a tube in there
4. Sunblock (in the warmer months)
You never know when you might go outside for an extended period of time & you don't want baby to get burned so it's a good idea to keep some of this in the diaper bag. We use Huggies Little Swimmers waterproof spf50 sunblock.
5. A spare bottle
Cuz kiddo might randomly decide to get hungry at the most inopportune times!
6. Some baby food
At Target and Babies R Us you can find small formula containers like the one in the picture by Munchkin where you measure out the formula powder beforehand and then just pour it into the bottle when you need it. I LOVE this product and am soooo glad to have it - it really comes in handy and I don't have to carry an entire tub of formula with me! This particular one has 3 separate spots.7. Your kid's "lovey"
Jay's is his stuffed Elmo so I make sure to always put him the diaper bag before we go out.
8. Bib/Burpie
Jay drools A LOT right now so for us it's mandatory to have an extra bib in the bag and of course a burpie cloth is needed in case he eats while we're out and about.
9. A blanket
More for the colder months, as you never know how the weather will be - one minute it's in the 70s and your kid is in shorts, the next it's in the 50s and you need something to throw over his legs! Plus, if you're driving in the colder months and something happens where your car breaks down, doesn't hurt to have a blanket on hand, especially for kiddo!
10. A spare set of clothes
In case your child has a blowout in his diaper that goes up his back or some other massive mess that requires a change of clothes while you're out.
Honorable Mention: A bottle of water
More so in case you get stranded somewhere like if your car breaks down - if kiddo gets hungry you can mix a bottle for them (assuming you have #'s 5&6).
Monday, May 16, 2011
Toddlers and the Discipline Affirmation Conundrum
So I mentioned briefly in my previous post that this week's sermon was really insightful as a new parent.
Last week at church our pastor - Rusty Hayes - started a new series called Generations and kicked it off with the topic of mother's for Mother's Day. This week the sermon was on toddlers and discussed bringing them up and "training" the right. While it was called toddlers, he said it can apply to kids up to ages 8 and maybe even 10.
Anyways, he talked about what he called the Discipline Affirmation Conundrum and how as a parent you need to find the balance between the 2 for each of your children as each child is different.
If you give too much or only affirmation and not enough or no discipline and never say no to your child, your likely to end up with a kid who is a total spoiled brat and thinks the world revolves around them. However if you give your child too much discipline with little to no affirmation then you're like going to to have a child who's an overachiever when they're young, doing anything they can just to get any sort of praise from you, and then they're likely to rebel and go wild with their newfound freedom when they go off to college or move out on their own. So as a parent it's your responsibility to find that balance for your child. Some children are a bit out of control and need a little more discipline than others, other kids may have low self-esteem for whatever reason and need more affirmation.
So many parents today are more concerned about being their child's friend than being their parent and are afraid to tell their child "no" and/or discipline them, which looking in general at society and the teens we have today, clearly there's a problem. As a parent though it's your job to teach your child right from wrong, disciplining them when needed so that they understand that bad actions are wrong.
As far as disciplining goes, he pointed out that there's really 3 options or "ouch factors" that work with toddlers, the 1st being spankings and pointed out that the Bible even mentions using "the rod."
So many parents today think of spankings as child abuse or don't do it, however, a study from very liberal college UC-Berkeley showed that spankings in moderation (ie: when necessary) actually are effective, as they did a study that lasted 10 years and looked at several kids who were disciplined differently - the ones that did get spankings from time to time ended up growing up best (for lack of better terms). Now our pastor pointed out, you never want to spank your child while you're in a rage as your likely to lose control and take things too far, and really it should be more of a last resort and only done when the situation warrants it - if you're spanking a child multiple times a day then something is clearly wrong, either your child isn't getting it or you're missing something.
Another "ouch factor" is the lose of privileges, such as putting your child in timeout, and by timeout we mean somewhere away from toys and distractions where the child can have a few minutes to sit and reflect on what they did wrong. Don't send them to their room or they'll just see timeout as a time to get away and go play and not learn anything. In my parents house, the timeout spot was on the bottom landing of the stairs that go upstairs. My sister was quite familiar with that spot, as they would have her sit there for several minutes at a time (my mom would set the timer on the stove so my sister would know when she could get up off the landing) until she cooled down and was ready to behave. As the kid gets older this would be more in the terms of grounding them or "no TV or video games for x-amount of time."
The third "ouch factor" is to make amends. The example our pastor used was say Billy throws his little sister's favorite dolly out in the trash, just for fun. Well then Billy would have to give one of his favorite toys to his little sister to make amends. If they break a sibling's or a friend's toy on purpose and get an allowance, have them save up to replace it. Teach them that if they wrong someone it is their responsibility to make it right.
As far as affirmation goes, he reminded us of 4 points.
Be sure to have fun with your kids - laughter is the closest a person can get to each other. Be silly and have fun, do fun things together. Have a weekly family night where you all watch a movie or play a game together (we used to do pizza and board games when I was little).
Make conversation with them, talk through stories. Say you know your kid got teased at school but doesn't want to talk about it. Have them help you come up with a story where you act out what happened and get them to discuss it. For example, use their stuffed animals and incorprate them into the story - let them come up with the names in the story, point out that one of them (say the bunny stuffed animal) got teased, ask your child how they think bunny feels. Try to get them to talk about how they're feeling.
"Date" your child - make time for some one on one with just them. Dad's take your daughters out one on one for something as simple as McDonald's for a meal, same goes for moms.
And of course be sure to make your child feel blessed - make them feel good about themselves, show praise and affirmation when they do good things.
Overall, I thought it was a really good and insightful sermon, especially being a new parent who's soon going to be dealing with a toddler before you know it! I look forward to the rest of the series.
Last week at church our pastor - Rusty Hayes - started a new series called Generations and kicked it off with the topic of mother's for Mother's Day. This week the sermon was on toddlers and discussed bringing them up and "training" the right. While it was called toddlers, he said it can apply to kids up to ages 8 and maybe even 10.
Anyways, he talked about what he called the Discipline Affirmation Conundrum and how as a parent you need to find the balance between the 2 for each of your children as each child is different.
If you give too much or only affirmation and not enough or no discipline and never say no to your child, your likely to end up with a kid who is a total spoiled brat and thinks the world revolves around them. However if you give your child too much discipline with little to no affirmation then you're like going to to have a child who's an overachiever when they're young, doing anything they can just to get any sort of praise from you, and then they're likely to rebel and go wild with their newfound freedom when they go off to college or move out on their own. So as a parent it's your responsibility to find that balance for your child. Some children are a bit out of control and need a little more discipline than others, other kids may have low self-esteem for whatever reason and need more affirmation.
So many parents today are more concerned about being their child's friend than being their parent and are afraid to tell their child "no" and/or discipline them, which looking in general at society and the teens we have today, clearly there's a problem. As a parent though it's your job to teach your child right from wrong, disciplining them when needed so that they understand that bad actions are wrong.
As far as disciplining goes, he pointed out that there's really 3 options or "ouch factors" that work with toddlers, the 1st being spankings and pointed out that the Bible even mentions using "the rod."
So many parents today think of spankings as child abuse or don't do it, however, a study from very liberal college UC-Berkeley showed that spankings in moderation (ie: when necessary) actually are effective, as they did a study that lasted 10 years and looked at several kids who were disciplined differently - the ones that did get spankings from time to time ended up growing up best (for lack of better terms). Now our pastor pointed out, you never want to spank your child while you're in a rage as your likely to lose control and take things too far, and really it should be more of a last resort and only done when the situation warrants it - if you're spanking a child multiple times a day then something is clearly wrong, either your child isn't getting it or you're missing something.
Another "ouch factor" is the lose of privileges, such as putting your child in timeout, and by timeout we mean somewhere away from toys and distractions where the child can have a few minutes to sit and reflect on what they did wrong. Don't send them to their room or they'll just see timeout as a time to get away and go play and not learn anything. In my parents house, the timeout spot was on the bottom landing of the stairs that go upstairs. My sister was quite familiar with that spot, as they would have her sit there for several minutes at a time (my mom would set the timer on the stove so my sister would know when she could get up off the landing) until she cooled down and was ready to behave. As the kid gets older this would be more in the terms of grounding them or "no TV or video games for x-amount of time."
The third "ouch factor" is to make amends. The example our pastor used was say Billy throws his little sister's favorite dolly out in the trash, just for fun. Well then Billy would have to give one of his favorite toys to his little sister to make amends. If they break a sibling's or a friend's toy on purpose and get an allowance, have them save up to replace it. Teach them that if they wrong someone it is their responsibility to make it right.
As far as affirmation goes, he reminded us of 4 points.
Be sure to have fun with your kids - laughter is the closest a person can get to each other. Be silly and have fun, do fun things together. Have a weekly family night where you all watch a movie or play a game together (we used to do pizza and board games when I was little).
Make conversation with them, talk through stories. Say you know your kid got teased at school but doesn't want to talk about it. Have them help you come up with a story where you act out what happened and get them to discuss it. For example, use their stuffed animals and incorprate them into the story - let them come up with the names in the story, point out that one of them (say the bunny stuffed animal) got teased, ask your child how they think bunny feels. Try to get them to talk about how they're feeling.
"Date" your child - make time for some one on one with just them. Dad's take your daughters out one on one for something as simple as McDonald's for a meal, same goes for moms.
And of course be sure to make your child feel blessed - make them feel good about themselves, show praise and affirmation when they do good things.
Overall, I thought it was a really good and insightful sermon, especially being a new parent who's soon going to be dealing with a toddler before you know it! I look forward to the rest of the series.
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